Meaning of Life or Life of Meaning

My musings about life and what it all means for this mom, worker, wife, woman, human. What it's like to live with a tantrum-throwing toddler, a self-employed husband, work, housework, and the life or death of my own dreams. Maybe we all can get some free therapy out of it all.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

My Day Will Come

With the Flylady system you set a timer and do something in 15 minute incruments. That way it is not so overwhelming. It really does work. I cleared off all the papers on my desk in 15 minutes.

I picked up a few extra shifts for January. That should help. Hopefully our census will go up, so there will be enough work.

My Husband has a "big meeting" at noon with some prospective lawyer clients. He's always having meetings. I hope it works out. I told him I was picking up some extra hours and he thought I wouldn't have to do it next month, because he would have all these clients. At least I am realistic. Maybe someday that will happen.

I would like to start My Daughter in a tumbling class, but I don't know if I can afford it. I guess she'll make it either way. She is always doing summersaults and trying to stand on her head, and also loves dancing.

I often have this awareness that I am just passing time until I die. It is unbelievable about the tsunami deaths and devastation. I saw one lady say her husband and 4 children just disappeared and her 8 month old daughter was ripped out of her arms by the water. This is terrible. It is so big and far away, though, it makes it hard to realize that it is real. I guess we are all lucky to be alive every day. I wonder how many people die on the earth each day. One day it will be me. *Jaden

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

organizing

I folded so much laundry! Now I feel a bit more organized. My Daughter and I walked to the park and played and had a great time. Now I have got to get to work soon.

I got Leanne Ely's book, "Saving Dinner." It has menus and grocery lists. Maybe this will help keep things going in the kitchen. Plus, I am bored out of my mind with the limited menu we have now.I am also trying to get back into Flylady stuff. If you don't know about it, check out Flylady.com. It really has helped me keep the house up, but for some reason, I have trouble with my organizing with my Mom-in-Law here. She's leaving on January eighth! She's easier to love from far away!

My Daughter is now actually taking a nap! Yeah! Now off to work (MIL will babysit). *Jaden

Monday, December 27, 2004

laundry

Laundry really gets out of control around here. I washed several loads and now they are all piled in the bedroom to be folded. My husband was going to help fold, but instead went back to work for a couple hours.

I have got to find a way to work more hours or else we are going to be sunk. ( Unless some miracle happens and My Husband brings in some money). I am trying to do it when he can watch our daughter. He is a good dad.

I know I complain a lot, but that is what this blog is for right now. Maybe if I get it out here I won't take it out on everyone I care about.

So there is an issue about what to do on new year's eve. I want to go to some local stuff produced by the city and he wants to go to another stupid, boring party at one of his friend's house. He thinks I always get my way and I think my way is always right, so I don't see a problem. (Although it was meant to be sarcastic, I do agree with the previous statement.)

I bought four sweaters at Goodwill today. Fourteen bucks for four sweaters! I don't have too much pride for a great bargin.

I have got to make some resolutions soon....lose weight, get out of debt, get happy...all that...

*Jaden

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Christmas

Well, Christmas went over fine. We and my husband's mom went over to my parents' house with my daughter and had food, presents and the whole bit. Too many presents as usual. My daughter especially loves the toy kitchen and the strawberry shortcake doll. She totally was into figuring out everything about Christmas this year; Santa, baby Jesus, the presents, the tree, everything.

The elephant in the room was that my sister didn't attend Thanksgiving or Christmas with us this year. She is in therapy and is having all kinds of issues. It was actually better without her. Could it be that she is part of the problem? More on this another time.

Today my husband and I went to church. They had lots of Christmas carols and it was nice.
We have this problem lately that we cannnot hear or understand each other that well. I get so tired of repeating everything I say! Sometimes I actually just say it twice or three times in a row so maybe he could actually hear it once! He seems to have the same problem with me. I just don't get it. We have known each other for ten years and I think these things happen.

Why do men need to sit on the toilet for so long? Especially when dinner is ready or we are late to go somewhere. Just get in and get out. Two minutes tops. I usually have a toddler banging on the door if I am any longer than that. I don't know why this is so irritating. Well, I do, but more about this another time.

I will be so glad when my mother-in-law leaves on January 8th! She is really driving me mad and into a depression. I really do try. I told my husband 4 weeks was enough. So she stays for three months. I need my privacy and my sanity! I would like to be this open person that could invite every lost soul into my home for extended periods of time, but I can't. Face it, I get upset if the silverware is not put in the drawer correctly, so I need my space.

This wast a bit disjointed, but theraputic and entertaining for me. I have to go . * Jaden


Thursday, December 23, 2004

Blogging browsing question

I am new to this blogging stuff. Is there any way to search for specific keyword or blog groups ? I would like to read blogs that interest me and I can't find a real way to search except to look through recent posts. *Jaden

Hello!

Hi I finally started a blog! My two year old is singing and yelling next to me. Does anyone else compulsively keep every receipt they get, but just pile them up where you could never find anything if you needed it? This drives me crazy. I have a big receipt pile.
I will be so glad when my toddler is potty trained. She sometimes uses the potty, but usually it seems that she just can't be bothered!
What is this blog about? It is about trying to make something fabulous out of an average life; to find joy and meaning in changing diapers, working, trying to stay married and vacuuming; trying to stay positive when I see so much devastation in the patients and their families in the hospital where I work. I think that there may be no meaning of life except to live a life of meaning. How do I do that?
Maybe others in this world have similar feelings and maybe they will let me know how they manage in life. Hey, it's cheaper than therapy and maybe more effective. *Jaden
 
You scored as Anarchism. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

Anarchism

75%

Democrat

67%

Socialist

50%

Fascism

50%

Green

50%

Nazi

33%

Republican

25%

Communism

17%

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
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You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism

90%

Utilitarianism

80%

Hedonism

80%

Strong Egoism

75%

Justice (Fairness)

50%

Kantianism

50%

Nihilism

45%

Divine Command

35%

Apathy

30%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
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You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.

agnosticism

96%

Satanism

71%

Paganism

67%

Christianity

58%

Islam

54%

Hinduism

54%

Buddhism

54%

atheism

50%

Judaism

38%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
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You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congraulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets.

Unipolar Depression

50%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

42%

Schizophrenia

42%

Eating Disorders

8%

Borderline Personality Disorder

8%

Antisocial Personality Disorder

0%

Which mental disorder do you have?
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