Meaning of Life or Life of Meaning

My musings about life and what it all means for this mom, worker, wife, woman, human. What it's like to live with a tantrum-throwing toddler, a self-employed husband, work, housework, and the life or death of my own dreams. Maybe we all can get some free therapy out of it all.

Friday, April 29, 2005

What am I supposed to be doing?

HI! I know, I haven't blogged in ages. I just didn't have much to say. Lately I have just been trying to keep the house clean and manage work and everything. It has been going pretty good.
For some reason my dh has been really extra nice lately. He's been helping with the dishes every night and fixing some stuff around the house.

My dd is doing fine. She will be 3 years old in 5 weeks! She's turning into a great girl.

I think I am a little bored with life. I really notice how things repeat over and over. Work on these days, vacuum on these days, go to the library on this day, etc. It's like I am a robot following a computer program. I don't know what I am really looking for.

I have been following Leanne Elly's book "Saving Dinner." It has menus and grocery lists and is healthy. It helps take the guesswork out of dinner.

I feel tired. It must be the constant rainy weather.

What am I supposed to be doing? Each day is slipping by. Is this life? *Jaden

Monday, April 11, 2005

No Title

Hi! So, last Thursday I went to the book group at my church. It was so nice to sit with a group of intelligent, active women and talk. Honestly, we talked more about the current state of women's lives and "rights" then directly about the book. Wow! I didn't really know that there were others with views close to mine. I had never known any, anyway.
My dh is always afraid I will run away and join some women's lib commune, I think. I think powerful women are often looked at as dangerous by men.
We decided not to have the big birthday bash for dh this year, just not a good time. A little family thing will have to do.
I have been getting along amazinly well with my mom lately. She has been well and I think I am more able to relate to her now that I am raising a daughter. I was the same age when I had my dd as she was when she had me.

Last night we woke up to my dd yelling from her room. She had vomited all over herself and her bed. It was all in her hair, too! Yuck! I gave her a bath and we put her in our bed, with some towels at the ready. She vomited 3 or 4 more times in the night. I think it was maybe some bad food, but I don't know what. She is ok now. I had to wash a lot of towels and sheets. That kind of thing really makes me appreciate having a generally heathy child.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

There are no "shoulds"

Happy April! This month is Cherish My Spouse Month and Make a Written Schedule Month. If I can do these two things, I will be impressed with myself! For this week I will not say anything critical to my dh. Second, I will schedule times to exercise.

I had my job interview. It was ok, but not exactly the questions I had planned for, but I could handle it. I think things will be final this week sometime.

I want to start on my garden. I want to make working in the garden an act of peace and relaxation, not just work. Face it, I do not have to grow a garden, so I can do only what I want to do in this area, not what I should. There are no "shoulds."

In two weeks is my dh's big birthday party with all his friends. I wil not be stressed. I will plan. I will not be the party planning hag from hell. I can do this. He can help me. I will start today. It will be o.k. It is fine to buy appetizers from Sam's Club. I do not have to repaint the bathroom. Whatever I do will be fine. It will be good enough. (This is my new mantra.)

Less than 2 months is swimsuit season. I do not want to go out like this. What will I do about it? 1.Keep a food diary. Will I do this for more than 1 meal?
2. Plan some exercise.
3. Eat 2 fruits and 2 vegetables per day
4. Save sweets for once per day, a small serving

Sounds nice. It is a start.

I think that planning is what really causes things to get done. I am working on that. Plan my work, exercise, dates with dh, playdates for dd, time for me.

I have been tired out lately and can't quite get over this cold. Maybe vitamins and less stress will help.
I haven't been keeping my paper gratitude journal, So I am going to try writing one thing I am greatful for with each post. Today: I am greatful that I can read and enjoy reading. I just read The Handmaid's Tale for a book group and I loved it. It is about what might happen if extreme conservative"christians" took over the U.S. Very much like 1984, with big brother type stuff, etc.You should check it out. I read it in 2 days. *Jaden



 
You scored as Anarchism. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

Anarchism

75%

Democrat

67%

Socialist

50%

Fascism

50%

Green

50%

Nazi

33%

Republican

25%

Communism

17%

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
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You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”
--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism

90%

Utilitarianism

80%

Hedonism

80%

Strong Egoism

75%

Justice (Fairness)

50%

Kantianism

50%

Nihilism

45%

Divine Command

35%

Apathy

30%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
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You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof). Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.

agnosticism

96%

Satanism

71%

Paganism

67%

Christianity

58%

Islam

54%

Hinduism

54%

Buddhism

54%

atheism

50%

Judaism

38%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
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You scored as Unipolar Depression. Congraulations! You are depressed! You know just how it feels to bear all the world's burdens, and the value of a 19-hour night's sleep. And you really hate that circle-guy thing on your Zoloft pill packets.

Unipolar Depression

50%

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

42%

Schizophrenia

42%

Eating Disorders

8%

Borderline Personality Disorder

8%

Antisocial Personality Disorder

0%

Which mental disorder do you have?
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